RRKP

坦淡应对，心领神会。
坦淡需心诚无防，心领则需忌判勤悟。

悠哉闲哉，谈笑风生。
悠哉非赋闲废时，谈笑亦非胡言妄语。

若可实现，体验，必心宽体安，自在怡然。

何时。。。

I really sick of complaining about my job. I really wish I am writing about something else. I am as sick of this horrible job as I am sick of writing about it.

But sorry, i need an avenue to vent my sorrows, despair, self pittance, frustration, disappointment, etc. In short, I need to complain to remain sane.

6 is the number that secy say boss will give as bonus. 6 is the number of mths to spend in that office to sucessfully collect the 6 mth of bonus if it ever materialise. I dunno if my sanity will be intact for another 6 mths if I were to stay there for 6 mths.

Bear with it, bear with myself, bear with me my frens. I wish I can tell you something else, I wish, anything else....

thanks ms val for telling that.

what u say is true, the only things is that, i have been living in the unhappy side of the world for a long time, it has changed the way i see things. everything looks unhappy.

I may have forgotten how to be happy. I may be sick, and am your sick fren as mini say.

But i'm always glad to have genuine frens who bring me to the happy side when ever we meet up, whenever u all hear me whine. thats when i know i'm still lucky.

at least i dun have to drown alone in my own tears.

In time to come, i hope i will find the happiness that i have always looking for. hope that i wun whine anymore.

Do it even if u dun wanna do it.

force urself to it

for a while...

maybe a short while

maybe for a long time.

cos u have to.

I DUN WAN, but DO IT anyway.

Congrats Miss Sunshines, you'll be happily married soon :)

This post is for you, the only reader of this bloggie....

If you dun use your brains, you will lose the ability to use it in time to come.

Proven:

Thursday, 33 arranged with secy fren to go shopping near office at lunch time.

So at go home time, we set off together. Outside the office buildng, this happenned.

I asked: "sorry, I know we planned to do something, but can you tell me wat?"

She said: "I don't know how to get there, you wanted to bring me there."

I said: "Yes, I remember we have to go there, but tell me what we wanna do there, this can help me recall where I wanted to bring you.

She: "We going to Sasa to check our the clenser promotion."

Finally, I remembered. Off we went to the destination.


This is not the only thing, I seem to have very little short term memory nowadays. That included my vocabulary and my mental contacts list. I have been experiencing the "cannot continue my sentence" symptom. I know what I want to say, but I cannot summon the word or name. So instead of saying the word, I have to use a description and ask the whoever who was speaking to me to tell me whats the word or who the person is...

Its very worrying....

The feeling is bad again.

I really feel like crap. I feel very useless...

I know I like to whine, I know I did this to myself.

But I really feel like crap... I really don't like what I'm doing...

Whine whine whine...

The thing to look forward to is over, or rather, soon to be over.

This is the first time I actually looked forward to CNY holidays... Cos it takes me away from the office. I dun hafta go back to the place that I hate....

Now that it's gonna be over in less than 24 hours, I feel so sad and desperate again.

I know I hate the job, but I had to stay for a while, dun I? I hate the feeling of not having a choice. But it was because I had a choice and that I had actually made a choice that had landed me in the current situation of not having a choice. Again, I am to blame... bleh....

So what do I look forward to now?

Why dun someone tell me how to kill 9 hours in office pretending to be doing something when there is nothing to be done before that 9 hours of nothing-to-do-ness kill me?

Do you believe that having nothing to do makes a person stupid? I do. So help me help me help me..... I need to escape...

Oh my sanity...

I really really really really dun like this place.

Never sacrifice job satisfaction for money. That maths is wrong, esp for emotional health.

I am dying...

I feel that my heart is clamped tightly by something whenever I think about going to work. I must be dying soon, my heart is clamped so tightly it's suffocating me...

I feel like puking, I can't breathe, yet I can't faint, if I could, at least I can leave my job using medical reason as an excuse...

I just feel nauseous... I let out a sigh everytime going to work comes to my mind. I fee disgusted, I hate to get out of bed in the morning. I can't sleep properly bcause try to find an excuse s that I can quit or not go to work there. I must be very sick, I must be dying soon...

I let out a sigh when I hae to step into office, in the mornig and after lunch... I am so stressed and I'm dying...

I am dying...